Every year, every week, every day, I want to be better. This leads me to read a LOT of blogs, books, and articles about being better, being a more authentic version of yourself, handling your finances better, finally making things happen for yourself, and so on.

I read so many things that make sense, so many things that should be common sense, so many things that inspire me to morph bad habits into good ones. At the same time, though, some things just seem to be so conflicting I just get more confused about how to proceed.

For instance, some tell me to slow down, cut things from my life, cut out toxic friendships, only do things that make me comfortable, etc. Others tell me to do more, more things that scare me, saying yes to more opportunities, etc. And then my brain explodes.

Do I take days off from work to relax and do absolutely nothing or to do an entire checklist of things?

Do I try new writing groups and go to lunch with people I’m merely acquainted with to try new things and make connections in the writing world, or is that a waste of my valuable precious time because I don’t necessarily enjoy it?

When is it being lazy or when is it okay to say I just don’t want to do something?

No wonder my brain is so tired all the time. Really the only thing I’ve been learning is that there is such a thing as seeking TOO MUCH ADVICE AND GUIDANCE. Seriously, having so many different voices my head offering help is worse than when it was just mine, as uneducated in the world and myself as that voice used to be.

I think I’m going to cut out all of this “Self Help” or what have you for a while. I think I’m a big enough girl to make some decisions for myself. To know what’s working for me and what isn’t. To know when to make a leap forward or take a step back.

I feel better already.