From when I first could form semi-intelligible words until I was about ten I did a strange thing. Whenever I was focused or concentrating on something, I would emit a sound that sounded like, “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.” I was basically the human equivalent of a smoke detector you can’t get to turn off, no matter how many batteries you take out of it or how many times you chuck it at the wall. I never did it at school, which probably was a relief to my parents, because I can’t imagine that would have gone over well with teachers. Like they don’t have enough headaches. Nobody could ever figure out why I did it. And nobody could ever figure out why I stopped. I just grew out of it I guess. Like pull-ups or picking my nose and eating the boogers (every little kid does it at least once, you know it’s true).

P.S. This is random, but somebody gifted me with a bottle of Rosé for my birthday, so I gave it another shot. And it was delicious. So I guess I just bought a shitty kind last time. This makes me very happy.