-
The Rosé Effect

There are always those things in this world you positively lust for, because to you, they scream the epitome of elegance. You think if you can only go there, eat that, own this, then you will somehow be a better person or be in a better place than you are now. For awhile now, two
-
11 Examples of How Drunk Emily is Like A 1 Year Old Puppy

Not only does this weekend mark my first day off in three weeks, it also brings with it a party to celebrate my birthday (yes, all hope is not yet lost, there will be celebration!) and my gaining of an abode that is not the guest room in my parent’s house. As I assume there
-
Throwback Post #2: Fish Funeral

It has occurred to me that last week marked the one year anniversary of the tragic demise of my beloved fish, Mofo 2.0. In honor of my dearly departed fishy friend (who I owned for no less than nine months), please accept this mini entry I wrote a year ago upon his death: “I am
-
Nine Signs You Might Be a Cop’s Kid

You spent your childhood hiding behind hay bales while a search and rescue dog followed your scent on toilet paper and tried to find you. Except he took so long you ate the dog treat that was supposed to be his reward. It didn’t taste nearly as good as it smelled. You like to kill
-
Birthday Buzz

I’m one of those people who treat their birthday like their damn wedding day. Every year I coordinate every little detail to make it the best f***ing day of my life. I seem to expect the entire human population to stop and bow down at my feet just because today happens to be the day
-
10 Things I Suggest You No Longer Do at Your Local Library

99% of the patrons I have encountered in my various library jobs have been pleasant, awesome people. The other 1%, however, I have wanted to punch right in their facial area. Below are some of the behaviors I have encountered that have caused the rare emotion of rage/extreme annoyance to rise up inside of me.
-
Throwback Post #1
What’s that you say? “You’ve been blogging for a total of one day. You simply are not allowed a throwback post!” Oh wait, you can’t say anything if you don’t even exist. That’s the beauty of having zero readers except for your mother and that one friend who feels like she has to be supportive
-
Assumed Lost
If you are anything like me (and unless you graduated college a 21 year old virgin, still make your parents schedule all of your medical appointments, and are a vegetarian who hates vegetables, I don’t assume you are) then you are slumming it in your yoga pants with the tiny hole in the crotch wondering
